News Story :
Lament Spells Death Omen For Irish Fish
Cabinteely, Ireland are grief stricken over the fate of hundreds of
pet goldfish. The recent nightly visitation of a banshee has been
linked to the untimely demise of these beloved household pets.
According to Irish mythology, the wailing of a banshee is considered
a harbinger of death - much like the crying of a hoot owl outside
one’s window. However, this spirit isn’t wailing or shrieking.
Instead, it has been waking townsfolk at night with a loud gurgling
“I got up to check
on the children” reports concerned father Aidan Kavanagh. “They were
all tucked away safe in their beds. It wasn’t ‘til the next mornin’
I saw wee Shubunkin had gone belly up.” The family fish was honored
with a brief burial ceremony in the Kavanagh’s back yard.
Dana O’Shea, a local
pet store owner, outlined a similar experience. Just last week, she
was shocked to find that dozens of her best Bubble Eye goldfish had
met their fate simultaneously. “They seemed to be staring at me with
those lifeless, bulging eyes - I was so shaken I had to close shop
for the day.”
representative from the ISPCA (Irish Society for the Prevention of
Cruelty to Animals) denies there is anything supernatural going on.
“Most people overfeed their fish or don’t keep the water clean
enough. These irresponsible pet owners are just projecting their own
guilt with this banshee nonsense.”
Other popular fish
breeds such as the beta have so far been unaffected by this strange
After the Banshee . . .
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